Updated: 4 days ago
Thirteen years after holding baby number one for the very first time, I still vividly recall those early emotions. Looking into her eyes, that rush of love, the strength of which I had never felt before, closely followed by that feeling of oh $#%* - I am responsible for this tiny creature for the rest of her life. That sense of responsibility weighed heavily.
The years with our babies are filled with intense love, laughter, frustration and tears. I was expecting that. What I hadn’t expected was
the well-meaning, yet conflicting advice
the MUMMY GUILT
Over the years I’ve seen that mummy guilt is a more common affliction than I first realised – and one felt by working and stay at home mums alike!
While other peoples’ judgemental comments contribute to the guilt, often we’re our own worst enemies by comparing ourselves to others, which is so detrimental to our own sense of well-being. As one clever person once pointed out to me, there is really no comparison - we are busy comparing our insides to someone else’s outside!
So, for those struggling, join me to bid farewell to the mummy guilt in just 3 steps.
Step One – Let go of the comparisons.
We don’t know what other people’s lives are like and what they are dealing with. An at-home mum would like to work but she has a child who is struggling right now and she needs to be available for all those days of school refusal. A working mum desperately wants to be at home full-time but economic realities don’t allow for that. Another mum struggled with a loss of identity when she left her career and her work gives her what she needs to then be the best mum she can be.
These few examples are just a tiny picture of individual circumstances and decisions. Ours is not to compare, but to accept that each of us is doing what is right for ourselves and our family. Time to raise each other up, drop the comparisons and move on to…